Three reasons I'm lowering my marital expectations.

Have you ever reflected back on your life and compared your expectations with your reality?  As I wrote my blog last week regarding complacency in marriage (find it here: http://lukeandlife.blogspot.com/2016/07/why-i-occasionally-rub-my-wife-feet.html ), I considered what my expectations of my marital relationship fifteen years ago were versus what they are right now, and I realized that much conflict and frustration could be avoided, and how I can be a better Husband and Father by lowering my expectations. Here are three reasons I'm taking this action:

1.  I am lowering my expectations in order to serve my family better. I want to be a consistent example of what love is.  What better way to demonstrate that than to serve them consistently, with nothing expected in return.  It's not easy, but it's worth it.

2. I am lowering my expectations in order to communicate more effectively.  Many times when I verbalize the expectations I am placing on my wife and kids, I realize just how selfish I am being, and how unrealistic what I expect to be, actually is. I want to communicate better in every way, consistently. 

3. I am lowering my expectations in order to live urgently in the moment. The older I get, the faster time goes by. I want to enjoy every single moment I am granted in this life.  I want to live with a heart filled with gratitude, not with resentment. 

We can do this, together.

Until next time,

Luke

Why I (occasionally) rub my wife's feet.

August 4th, 2001, my wedding day. A lot has changed in the past fifteen years, but one thing has not, the vow we took that day. If you're reading this blog with eager anticipation as to the "why" the title proposed, it's simple, and complex. I (occasionally) rub my wife's feet because she loves it when I do so, and (occasionally), I remember that! If you've been married for a while like us, it's easy to get adapted to the mundane routine of life. I've found it's easy to get complacent in marriage.  I don't want my wife to have a complacent marriage. I want her to never lose the joy we shared  the day she walked down aisle and we committed our lives to each other.  I'm realistic, I know that I've changed, and so has she, that does not leave me with an excuse, it leaves me with a great responsibility, to show her I love her through everything we are blessed to experience together.  I need to rub her feet more than just occasionally because it tells her how much I love her, without saying a word.  

What is one way you battle complacency in your marriage? I'd love to hear! 

We can do this, together. 

Until next time,

-Luke

Living in the present-tense.

"Wherever you are, be all there." -Jim Elliot

There are moments in our lifetime that define us. They shape our character, they mold our being.

This week as we celebrated my youngest son's birthday, I considered a few of those moments which had occurred in my lifetime. As I thought about these times I determined that one of the reasons they impacted me so greatly is because I was living in, and for, that moment.  I was engaged in it. For some of these moments, I was completely self-aware of the growth I was experiencing at the time, and others, my self awareness was grown after the moment had occurred. 

I wonder what kind of positive impact we could have on this world if we all chose to live more in the present. What could happen if we were more self aware, and more engaged with others  on a personal level. 

The many tragic events in our great nation that have occurred over the past few years have recently motivated me towards the opportunity placed before all of us right now. We can embrace all that is ugly and all that is beautiful, we can live with more empathy and compassion than we ever have before.  We can make a positive impact on the lives around us.  We can do this, together. 

Until next time. 

-Luke 

Independent Living

This past weekend we celebrated our nations Independence Day.  In our house, we also celebrated a milestone of independence, as my six year old daughter decided it was time to take the training wheels off of her bike and ride it without them. I was reluctant to say the least, a bit fearful for her safety, but also the state of maturity she is growing into.  Even as I hesitated, I was as excited and nervous as she was to face and conquer a new challenge. As I let go of her bike and she pedaled down the driveway, my smile beamed and my tears glistened in the sunlight as I knew I was letting go of a little bit more than just a bicycle. 

Do you remember what it was like the first time you did something? Do you remember the pride and empowerment you felt by your accomplishment? Everyday we have the opportunity to become more, to overcome our fear, to make this world a better place. What are you doing today to make yourself better than you were yesterday? What will you do to make a positive impact on our world today? We can do this, together.

Until next time.

Luke