For better or worse (three ways to love your spouse better than you are right now).

This coming August, my wife and I will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary, and 22nd year together in a committed relationship. Among the chaos of our daily career, social activities, raising three amazing kids, and finding a balance there within, I find myself searching for ways to show Bridget how, even though our lives are constantly changing, my love for her has not, and that it has actually grown each and every day we live our lives together. Here are three things that I've found that we can do to show our spouse just how much we love them.

 1.  Be an active listener.  We all have something to say, and we all want to be heard.  We will have that opportunity if we start by taking a step back and finding the key to communication; listening.  In raising three kids under the age of ten, our uninterrupted time of key communication is limited, so very often I need to really focus on what Bridget is saying to me. If I don't focus on this, we become disconnected, and our relationship suffers.

2.  Daily affirmation.  Six weeks ago my best friend and I decided to run a short experiment, which was as follows; every day for a week, we made an intentional statement of affirmation (written, or verbal)  with the purpose of letting our wives know what we love about them.  There were positive results! Who doesn't love to be told what is amazing about themselves?  Confidence is sexy! Doing this small act helps us to transition from a mindset of selfish love, to selfless love.

3.  Give them space.  Everyone needs some down-time. Encourage your spouse to spend some time doing something they love, spend time with their friends, or just to use the bathroom without the kids or dog in tow! 

Fact is, all of these things require some effort on our part, and yet, a little bit of effort can yield unprecedented results! So rise above and take the initiative! Your spouse deserves it. 

Until next time. 

-Luke